My struggle, My salvation
To me, a struggle is just a little spiderweb. You can either avoid it or fly right into it; get stuck there or demolish it. I cant seem to avoid my struggles, they are constant and never fully demolished. They lay there in the background just waiting for me to retrace my steps and go through it all over again. People say that a struggle is just a small step to becoming both stronger and smarter, and some say that its just something you have to deal with until the day you die. Your heart and your brain will always get you into something you probably didnt mean to get into in the first place. But that doesnt stop you from doing it, now does it? I suppose everyone needs to get a little Jimminey Cricket to teach them right from wrong.
We all choose a certain path, and often at times we engrave stuff into it, whether its distant memories, curses of bad luck, broken hearts, and plenty more. My path is certainly screwed to the max, as how I just continuously just dug into it, carving names of ex- lovers into its soil, putting small puddles of blood, barrying brokenhearts, and planting memories that just seem to stretch their roots all the way to the end of my way. I cant quite say that my path has lead me to the destination I really wanted to go, but I can say that even though it seems bruised I have certaintly learned alot. I have learned about boys/guys, I have learned about heartbreak and devistation. I've learned about memories that seem to never end and people that can never escape your grasp.
Surely we all learn something from what we do or dont do, we penitrate the laws of science and end up doing things we thought were impossible. I struggle here and there with the distant relationships between heartbreak and true love, I also struggle with the relationship between me and my mother and plenty of others I should most-likely spend a whole lot more time with then the people that I do. I am sitting in a place where I am doomed to review my flaws, my problems and of course my struggles. To face them with the exact reflection as how they look at me; and to also push them aside or at least doom them to a whole other area of my brain. I tell them to go away, I fight them, and of course try to forget them. Which in the end isnt the brightest idea in the world, now is it?
But of course there isnt an easy way to solve my problems, and it does take time to fully turn my problems away and create a new, perhaps better path. I try my best to concentrate, and to be stronger then I usually am; it takes practice and it also takes alot of personal strength. Some people believe if they have enough love in their life, or true best friends, good parents and some other 'awesome' and 'true' relations that they would be able to use others' strength instead of their own to take care of their problems. Or just ignore the fact they are in a struggle and just keep on doing what ever it was they were doing to get there in the first place.
Sometimes we have to take some drastic measures to be able to compensate for what we have done so far in our lives. And often we cannot avoid what we do, where we come from, and how we got here. No excuses could be used in trying to become better people or even seen as better people. You have to absolutely face your problems and you cannot turn away from whatever it is that you are going through or whatever web you have flew into. Its not a whole 'passing through' sort of thing, its an everyday thing where you have a struggle and you get stuck there for longer then perhaps 6 months. But you put up with it untill you become stronger and are willing to look your problems in the face and go BOO!
Im working on my struggles, because in the end, only I can save myself.
